Posted by The Jay under Celebrity
ANNE HATHAWAY’S BREASTS SIGN DEVELOPMENT DEAL
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
LOS ANGELES, CA – Paramount Pictures, a subsidiary of Viacom Inc. announced today that Anne Hathaway’s breasts, collectively known as “The Hathaway Twins,” have signed a three-picture first look development deal. The Hathaway Twins, individually credited as Princess Lefty McGee and Jenny Moon-Unit Zappa, are the stars of the upcoming fashion pic, “The Devil Wears Prada”. They recently signed with super-agent Ari Emmanuel of Endeavor for representation in all areas.
Fresh off a star-making performance in the Academy Award-winning drama Brokeback Mountain, The Hathaway Twins have seen their popularity explode almost overnight, culminating in their lucrative development deal. Their revealing performance wowed critics and audiences alike, and started an intense bidding war amongst the major studios. The spring release of their much delayed debut film, the spicy teen drama “Havoc”, brought them instant Internet credibility and a fan base loyal enough to compete with any other star in today’s market. The decision to break away from actress Anne Hathaway and start their own career was risky, but their deal with Paramount cements their place in the industry and positions them well for higher visibility projects. Upcoming roles prove The Hathaway Twins are a diverse, wide-ranging talent whose future in the industry looks bright.
Upcoming projects include:
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Signed as the September cover model for Maxim Magazine. Hugh Hefner said to be personally offended that the Twins rejected his offer to pose for Playboy.
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As a favor to The Devil Wears Prada co-star Adrian Grenier, The Hathaway Twins will guest star on the next episode of Entourage, playing the first-act love interest of rising start Vincent Chase. They also share the screen with series scene stealer Jeremy Piven, who sources say personally requested that he be able to “hug it out” with his vivacious co-stars.
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In discussions to be the Winter Catalog Spokesperson for Victoria’s Secret.
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Will host the 2006 Cable Ace Awards.
The Hathaway Twins are actively pursuing projects for their newly finalized deal, and rumors persist that the first film out of the gate will be a big-budget remake of the camp classic “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls”. Beyond the potential remake, the Twins look to return to their dramatic roots and are in discussions with director Curtis Hanson about an historical epic. Brokeback Mountain co-star Jake Gyllenhaal had this to say about talents of The Hathaway Twins: “They were terrific to work with. Just terrific. When you have performers of that caliber working with you, it just makes your job that much easier. To be honest, the biggest challenge for me on Brokeback wasn’t exploring a forbidden love with Heath or our sex scene together, it was my scene with The Hathaway Twins in the car after the rodeo. They were so fierce and so determined, I was blown away. When I think back on my experiences making that movie, the Twins are what I remember the most. Late at night. When I do my thinking and such.”
Exact details of the deal are confidential, however one crucial element of the deal has been released, a so-called “Breast Indemnity Clause”. Supposedly created in response to the death of the Lindsay’s Lohans deal, The Hathaway Twins are required to maintain strict size and weight requirements in order to satisfy the terms of the contract. Should the Twins fall prey to the Lindsay Lohan magical rack disappearing phenomenon, they will have thirty days to make weight. If the weight is not met the deal becomes null and void. A similar rack incentive plan is being considered for Scarlet Johansson’s potential four-picture deal at 20th Century Fox.
The Hathaway Twins were the stars of the red carpet for last week’s premiere of The Devil Wears Prada. Star Anne Hathaway dazzled the tabloids with a story about The Hathaway Twins’ experiences on the set:
“There was this one day where he kept elbowing me in the breast. He wasn’t doing it to be like a dirty old man, but if we were doing a scene or I was just crossing to get to my mark (on the set) he would just smack me in my boob and elbow me.
“If you’re a girl you know that hurts. So, after about the fourth time, I finally turned to him and said, ‘Stanley can you please stay away from my tits?’
“Stanley got really flustered and he said, ‘What do you expect, you’re flinging those melons around like it’s harvest season!’”
With a hot film due out soon, a new development deal with Paramount Pictures and an exciting slate of projects in the future, Hollywood insiders are hopeful that The Hathaway Twins could become as big as Angelina’s Jolies, and as profitable as Lindsay’s Lohans.
Career Highlights:
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In the fall, People Magazine will list The Hathaway Twins as two of the “50 Most Beautiful People in the World”.
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Have been insured by Lloyd’s of London for $6.2 Million apiece.
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In Disney’s “Ella Enchanted, were the first breasts filmed in Bullet Time.
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Was the breast double for Scarlett Johansson in “A Love Song For Bobby Long”
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Did all their own stunts in Havoc.
About Paramount Pictures: Paramount Pictures is part of the entertainment operations of Viacom, Inc., one of the world’s largest entertainment and media companies and a leader in the production, promotion and distribution of entertainment, news, sports and music.
About Anne Hathaway’s Breasts: They are very nice.
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Since arriving on the scene in 2001, The Hathaway Twins have been downloaded more than 34 Million times, making them the most downloaded rack since Katie Holmes’s KatieBots in The Gift. For more information on The Hathaway Twins, please contact Ari Emmanuel of the Endeavor Agency, or log on to http://www.TheJay.com.
