Get a Piece of Paris in Your Own Home!
Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 1:56 pm
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Get a Piece of Paris in Your Own Home!
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:46 pm
How is it that a talentless snotty little whore can enjoy so much
prestige and accolades?...it is an indictment of ourselves rather
than her....WE ARE DOOMED!!!!....DOOMED I SAY!!!!!
prestige and accolades?...it is an indictment of ourselves rather
than her....WE ARE DOOMED!!!!....DOOMED I SAY!!!!!
Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:11 pm
But Shloe, don't you know that Paris is the only true icon of this generation! Or so she says -
Paris Hilton must not be the superstitious type. The self-esteem-stuffed starlet is comparing herself to two of the most famous women in modern history, both of whom died tragically at the age of 36.
"... There's nobody in the world like me," Paris trumpets to the London Times. "I think every decade has an iconic blonde -- like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana -- and right now, I'm that icon."
Yes, the stubbornly popular blond with a propensity for flashing her lady-parts feels she's reached the rarefied status of the seminal cinematic bombshell and the beloved, benevolent royal, respectively. (That sound you hear? It's the memories of Marilyn and Diana being soundly trampled by a pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos.)
And while some might worry that such a dubious boast would tempt fate, or at least tempt Elton John to start penning yet another version of "Candle in the Wind," -- you know, just in case -- Hilton, 25, is confident in her fabulous future.
"There's a lot of heiresses out there and I don't see any of them doing what I've done," she crows. "I have so many projects -- bags, fragrances, makeup. I go round the world every three days, designing and personally approving it all. I've got movies to make, a tour, TV shows. Every day of my life is scheduled until the end of 2007."
Her calendar is currently crammed with promotional pitstops for her single "Stars Are Blind," which peaked at No. 18 on the Billboard Hot 100, and she apparently wants everyone to appreciate the oodles of effort she expends, whether she's doing her patented arched-back red carpet pose or chatting up the likes of Regis and Kelly.
"I was having dinner with my grandfather last week," shares the multitasking minx, "and he said, 'You work harder than any CEO I know.'"
Still, Paris does have plans to slow down -- and water down the gene pool -- in the next few years: "I definitely want to have children at 30."
(Apropos of nothing, paparazzi captured her fetching her lost pet ferret from behind some garbage cans this weekend. Sighed Paris' lately little-seen pup Tinkerbell, "I know just how you feel, buddy.")
And what of those recent tales of catfights and dance-offs with Lindsay Lohan over the affections of Hilton's moneybags Hellenic hottie ex, Stavros Niarchos, whom she was spotted with last week? All lies, she says.
"That was crap. She's never even hung out with Stavros," pooh-poohs Paris, before twisting the knife, "He thinks she's pathetic."
Hilton, who was snapped on Sunday sharing a smooch with oily oil heir Brandon Davis, whose videotaped verbal assault on Lohan allegedly prompted his recent stay in rehab, says she's in the same predicament as another seemingly harebrained peer.
"I read these stories about me starting fights and saying stupid stuff. I've become a cartoon. Nobody seems to get that how I am on 'The Simple Life' is a character," she complains. "I play dumb like Jessica Simpson plays dumb. But we know exactly what we're doing. We're smart blonds."
It's enough to cause Paris to lament, "Sometimes I feel like the media uses me as a punchbag," which she says is, like, totally "lame."
But she's not going to let those negative nellies spoil her sense of entitlement, er, accomplishment: " ... I love my job, and I think I've earned the right to be happy now. God gives you good karma if you work hard and play nice."
Besides, declares Paris, as she once again dares the universe to give her a smack-down in 2017, when she hits the big 3-6, "At least I'll always be remembered."
Paris Hilton must not be the superstitious type. The self-esteem-stuffed starlet is comparing herself to two of the most famous women in modern history, both of whom died tragically at the age of 36.
"... There's nobody in the world like me," Paris trumpets to the London Times. "I think every decade has an iconic blonde -- like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana -- and right now, I'm that icon."
Yes, the stubbornly popular blond with a propensity for flashing her lady-parts feels she's reached the rarefied status of the seminal cinematic bombshell and the beloved, benevolent royal, respectively. (That sound you hear? It's the memories of Marilyn and Diana being soundly trampled by a pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos.)
And while some might worry that such a dubious boast would tempt fate, or at least tempt Elton John to start penning yet another version of "Candle in the Wind," -- you know, just in case -- Hilton, 25, is confident in her fabulous future.
"There's a lot of heiresses out there and I don't see any of them doing what I've done," she crows. "I have so many projects -- bags, fragrances, makeup. I go round the world every three days, designing and personally approving it all. I've got movies to make, a tour, TV shows. Every day of my life is scheduled until the end of 2007."
Her calendar is currently crammed with promotional pitstops for her single "Stars Are Blind," which peaked at No. 18 on the Billboard Hot 100, and she apparently wants everyone to appreciate the oodles of effort she expends, whether she's doing her patented arched-back red carpet pose or chatting up the likes of Regis and Kelly.
"I was having dinner with my grandfather last week," shares the multitasking minx, "and he said, 'You work harder than any CEO I know.'"
Still, Paris does have plans to slow down -- and water down the gene pool -- in the next few years: "I definitely want to have children at 30."
(Apropos of nothing, paparazzi captured her fetching her lost pet ferret from behind some garbage cans this weekend. Sighed Paris' lately little-seen pup Tinkerbell, "I know just how you feel, buddy.")
And what of those recent tales of catfights and dance-offs with Lindsay Lohan over the affections of Hilton's moneybags Hellenic hottie ex, Stavros Niarchos, whom she was spotted with last week? All lies, she says.
"That was crap. She's never even hung out with Stavros," pooh-poohs Paris, before twisting the knife, "He thinks she's pathetic."
Hilton, who was snapped on Sunday sharing a smooch with oily oil heir Brandon Davis, whose videotaped verbal assault on Lohan allegedly prompted his recent stay in rehab, says she's in the same predicament as another seemingly harebrained peer.
"I read these stories about me starting fights and saying stupid stuff. I've become a cartoon. Nobody seems to get that how I am on 'The Simple Life' is a character," she complains. "I play dumb like Jessica Simpson plays dumb. But we know exactly what we're doing. We're smart blonds."
It's enough to cause Paris to lament, "Sometimes I feel like the media uses me as a punchbag," which she says is, like, totally "lame."
But she's not going to let those negative nellies spoil her sense of entitlement, er, accomplishment: " ... I love my job, and I think I've earned the right to be happy now. God gives you good karma if you work hard and play nice."
Besides, declares Paris, as she once again dares the universe to give her a smack-down in 2017, when she hits the big 3-6, "At least I'll always be remembered."
Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:37 pm
My god!...I never realized how deep and cool she is!...I Feel so lame 
Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 7:15 am
I'd love to rip her spoiled ass apart and stick dogshit in the gap between her legs.Fuckin spoiled talentless fuckin socialite...fuck herrrrrrrr.....she's just a rich cunt who NEVER had a bad go at anything..fuckin creditcard whoring shoppin bag bitchfaced tramp. 
Shes lifesupport for a stinkin slit.
Shes lifesupport for a stinkin slit.Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 7:17 am
I'd piss in her yap though....lamefuck trampin fashionrack.
Hotel joke
Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 4:09 pm
Wait til Jr. sees this one...
I think she will probably call her a "skank." She will not have anything complimentary to say about dear Paris.
It's pretty bad naming your daughter after a French hotel though. Ok so you own it but it's still annoying or is that me just being a stupid Brit?
Why wasn't she the Holiday Inn heiress?
eg. Glasgow Holiday Inn.
or if not Malmaison
Dundee Malmaison
She could have been the daughter of Mr. Dorchester. Dorchester Dorchester.
Besides any cred she may have had went out the window with that skin flick that did the rounds on the Interweb.
So that's enough hotel jokes.
Diana? Oh what ba ha hahahaha
Aye right. It's the Queen of hearts v Queen of Tarts more like. Dream on.
Ho ho - she really has lost it Probably inhabits some world where everyone says she's the bomb...er no.
What you worry Alfred E Shloemann, what you worry!
Cheerio
I think she will probably call her a "skank." She will not have anything complimentary to say about dear Paris.
It's pretty bad naming your daughter after a French hotel though. Ok so you own it but it's still annoying or is that me just being a stupid Brit?
Why wasn't she the Holiday Inn heiress?
eg. Glasgow Holiday Inn.
or if not Malmaison
Dundee Malmaison
She could have been the daughter of Mr. Dorchester. Dorchester Dorchester.
Besides any cred she may have had went out the window with that skin flick that did the rounds on the Interweb.
So that's enough hotel jokes.
Diana? Oh what ba ha hahahaha
Aye right. It's the Queen of hearts v Queen of Tarts more like. Dream on.
Ho ho - she really has lost it Probably inhabits some world where everyone says she's the bomb...er no.
What you worry Alfred E Shloemann, what you worry!
Cheerio
Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:29 am
i cant see the pics on here...
even with right click
so,....
here ya go cwa
paris is a twat.
thank you and good night
even with right click
so,....
here ya go cwa
paris is a twat.
thank you and good night
Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:36 am
Is that it jr?Thats so,so simply lovely...she'd take that a compliment!Rip her a new asshole jr...give it some cowbell! 
Here,I'll start.....Paris is a.....now go!
Here,I'll start.....Paris is a.....now go!
Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:39 am
Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:44 am
aaaaaahahahaha...I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell... 
...or jr wif cowbell wearin NO bra!
...or jr wif cowbell wearin NO bra! Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 2:25 am
Thanks JR!
That was most restrained of you!
I was expecting far worse.
Cheerio
That was most restrained of you!
I was expecting far worse.
Cheerio
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 4:24 am
Pity...I was expecting far better!!!chriswasanon wrote:Thanks JR!
That was most restrained of you!
I was expecting far worse.
Cheerio
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 6:14 am
I was expecting jr to put on a strap on and fuck Paris' ass raw!