Yo Blair! More on that visit by Brit Premier.
Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:09 am
From everyones' favourite Leftie Liberal paper.
The Guardian.
Go west, young man, runs the adage. And indeed he did. Today, after meeting George Bush to discuss the Middle East, Tony Blair comes to California, the first visit by a serving British prime minister to this fool's paradise.
"Los Angeles fired up for Tony Blair visit," the LA Daily News breathlessly informed its readers yesterday, going on to describe how the 1,800 tickets for the little leader's gig at the Bonaventure Hotel sold out, even at $80 apiece.
"In a city where celebrity is taken for granted, one of the hottest tickets in town is for a politician - albeit not your ordinary back-slapping type," wrote the paper's Rick Orlov.
On his way from the cool north to the sweaty south, Blair will meet Californian aristocrats such as the Schultz family - George was big in the Reagan era - who are hosting a reception for him in San Francisco on Friday, and meet kingmakers like his old friend Rupert Murdoch as he addresses the annual News International shin-dig on Sunday at the golfer's paradise of Pebble Beach. On Monday he'll meet Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa at the sumptuously phoney Getty Villa, where he can learn about the 12 Labours of Herakles - which makes the battle against Clause 4 look like a cakewalk. And he may even get a glimpse of Arnold, as Schwarzenegger and Blair both attend a forum on the environment on Tuesday.
CwA says: Cultural note. "Clause 4" It is beyond me currently to explain this.
Article continues
And who knows, Tony may even hit the surf. But why California?
"The reason," the No 10 website helpfully explained, "is that there is a crisis in the Middle East and the prime minister wants to get as far away from it as possible."
Actually, it didn't say that. Instead, it explained that California "is the sixth or seventh-largest economy in the world ... which is similar to ours in that it is a new economy increasingly based on heavy knowledge-based industries".
So, it turns out all that innovative New Labour zeal, that crusading spirit of enquiry, really has been drained from Blair: he's chosen to go on holiday somewhere just like home. Except that his advisers may have misled him on this one.
Tony, some things you should know, dude. There really is very little similarity between California and the UK.
1. Dude. Never, ever go more than a few sentences without saying this word, dude. Forget all the "Comrades, and I say to you" stuff. Dude is probably the most totally awesome thing you can say while you're here.
CwA says nobody has ever called me "dude," here. I thought that dood or d00d was old hippy speak for a male head. But there is more.
http://www.grateful-dudes.net/dude_meaning.htm
a) : men who pays too much attention to their clothes.
b) : men extremely fastidious in dress and manner : i.e.. dandy
c) : city dwellers unfamiliar with life on the range; especially : an Easterner in the West
d) : Slang word used to address another person : i.e.. what's up dude? originally used by surfer types.
2. Awesome. Dude, this is a literally awesome word, invented in California by surfer dudes (alright!) to describe anything that is literally, like, awesome.
CwA says: See when I hear this word "awesome." I don't immediately think of a myspace blog, I think of Mt. Everest, or the Atlantic Ocean or Niagra Falls, or Victoria Falls or the Planet Jupiter etc. Natural wonders. But I'm learning.
3. Like. Like is, like, the valley mantra. If you say the word like, like every few words, you are totally telling your listeners that you are from, like, the valley.
CwA says: Well "like" is everywhere including Embra (Edinburgh).
4. The valley. This is not the valley that you, prime minister dude, know from your awesome time with Nye and the dudes. This is an altogether much flatter, less green valley, a place where rivers die, strawberries grow and strip malls proliferate.
CwA says: That's another illusion shattered! So nae lush bonny glens then?
Cultural note: I think Nye is a reference to Nye Bevan. Aneurin Bevan, named after a famous Old Welsh poet. Bevan was the founder of our National Health Service. Which is Medicaid and Medicare only Free - well sometimes...Free in terms of the NHS is pushing it a little. Eyes and teeth ain't free and neither are prescriptions.
5. Mexicans. There's a lot of them in the valley, picking fruit and shit. Many of these Mexicans are from Mexico, some are from other places that, dude, without being heavy, may as well be Mexico. Awesome.
CwA says What is the writer's point here?
6. The governor. Don't call him Arnie. That's way too British. In California he is known as Arnold, or The Arnold. And the addition of a comic Austrian accent always brings laughs from a sophisticated audience. Mimic his pronunciation of Kahl-ee-faw-nyah - a surefire vote winner. But remember, Arnold was once in the movies. This makes him far more important than any politician.
CwA "The Arnold?"
7. The mayor. Well, the mayors. California boasts two mayors with a national profile: Gavin Newsom in San Francisco and Antonio Villaraigosa in Los Angeles. Newsom is not the sort of politician a good Catholic like you should spend too much time on. His outspoken support for gay marriage and his bullish leadership of sin city mean that he will never meet the pope. Antonio is a different matter, the Latino Blair if you like (his first name means Tony in Spanish). Antonio has the Old Labour cred of a union past, the New Labour cred of sharp suits, a totally heavy Listerine habit and taught himself Spanish. Practise saying his name before meeting him. Or you can use the term favoured by Republican wags: Antonio Villareconquista.
CwA says No comment necessary
8. Orange County. You've seen this one on the telly, dude. The OC - home to hipsters, surfer dudes, Ryan and Marissa, John Wayne airport, the Minutemen, theme parks and your friends and allies, the US Marines at Camp Pendleton. Semper Fidelis, dude!
CwA. says: Minutemen, are these those bomb racket thingies? No, are they some kind of police force to keep out undesireables?
9. Culture. California is home to some of your life-forming listening, Tony. The Doors, the Byrds, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, and Albert Hammond, singer of the bittersweet seventies hit It Never Rains in California (he wrote it in London). And nobody summed up the cultural finesse of living in Los Angeles better than honorary Londoner Woody Allen, who in Annie Hall described it as "a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light".
CwA says Wot no Dead Kennedys? Can't see Tony singing that one though, can you? Jello Blair.
10. Things not to mention: earthquakes, drought, fires, Charles Manson, George W Bush, Enron, the Lodi terrorist cell, Richard Nixon, the death penalty, how hot it is in England, Warren Beatty, the prison system, immigration reform, Ohio, looted antiquities, smog, the price of petrol, community farming, New York City.
And the Middle East.
CwA says I never do!
The Guardian.
Go west, young man, runs the adage. And indeed he did. Today, after meeting George Bush to discuss the Middle East, Tony Blair comes to California, the first visit by a serving British prime minister to this fool's paradise.
"Los Angeles fired up for Tony Blair visit," the LA Daily News breathlessly informed its readers yesterday, going on to describe how the 1,800 tickets for the little leader's gig at the Bonaventure Hotel sold out, even at $80 apiece.
"In a city where celebrity is taken for granted, one of the hottest tickets in town is for a politician - albeit not your ordinary back-slapping type," wrote the paper's Rick Orlov.
On his way from the cool north to the sweaty south, Blair will meet Californian aristocrats such as the Schultz family - George was big in the Reagan era - who are hosting a reception for him in San Francisco on Friday, and meet kingmakers like his old friend Rupert Murdoch as he addresses the annual News International shin-dig on Sunday at the golfer's paradise of Pebble Beach. On Monday he'll meet Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa at the sumptuously phoney Getty Villa, where he can learn about the 12 Labours of Herakles - which makes the battle against Clause 4 look like a cakewalk. And he may even get a glimpse of Arnold, as Schwarzenegger and Blair both attend a forum on the environment on Tuesday.
CwA says: Cultural note. "Clause 4" It is beyond me currently to explain this.
Article continues
And who knows, Tony may even hit the surf. But why California?
"The reason," the No 10 website helpfully explained, "is that there is a crisis in the Middle East and the prime minister wants to get as far away from it as possible."
Actually, it didn't say that. Instead, it explained that California "is the sixth or seventh-largest economy in the world ... which is similar to ours in that it is a new economy increasingly based on heavy knowledge-based industries".
So, it turns out all that innovative New Labour zeal, that crusading spirit of enquiry, really has been drained from Blair: he's chosen to go on holiday somewhere just like home. Except that his advisers may have misled him on this one.
Tony, some things you should know, dude. There really is very little similarity between California and the UK.
1. Dude. Never, ever go more than a few sentences without saying this word, dude. Forget all the "Comrades, and I say to you" stuff. Dude is probably the most totally awesome thing you can say while you're here.
CwA says nobody has ever called me "dude," here. I thought that dood or d00d was old hippy speak for a male head. But there is more.
http://www.grateful-dudes.net/dude_meaning.htm
a) : men who pays too much attention to their clothes.
b) : men extremely fastidious in dress and manner : i.e.. dandy
c) : city dwellers unfamiliar with life on the range; especially : an Easterner in the West
d) : Slang word used to address another person : i.e.. what's up dude? originally used by surfer types.
2. Awesome. Dude, this is a literally awesome word, invented in California by surfer dudes (alright!) to describe anything that is literally, like, awesome.
CwA says: See when I hear this word "awesome." I don't immediately think of a myspace blog, I think of Mt. Everest, or the Atlantic Ocean or Niagra Falls, or Victoria Falls or the Planet Jupiter etc. Natural wonders. But I'm learning.
3. Like. Like is, like, the valley mantra. If you say the word like, like every few words, you are totally telling your listeners that you are from, like, the valley.
CwA says: Well "like" is everywhere including Embra (Edinburgh).
4. The valley. This is not the valley that you, prime minister dude, know from your awesome time with Nye and the dudes. This is an altogether much flatter, less green valley, a place where rivers die, strawberries grow and strip malls proliferate.
CwA says: That's another illusion shattered! So nae lush bonny glens then?
Cultural note: I think Nye is a reference to Nye Bevan. Aneurin Bevan, named after a famous Old Welsh poet. Bevan was the founder of our National Health Service. Which is Medicaid and Medicare only Free - well sometimes...Free in terms of the NHS is pushing it a little. Eyes and teeth ain't free and neither are prescriptions.
5. Mexicans. There's a lot of them in the valley, picking fruit and shit. Many of these Mexicans are from Mexico, some are from other places that, dude, without being heavy, may as well be Mexico. Awesome.
CwA says What is the writer's point here?
6. The governor. Don't call him Arnie. That's way too British. In California he is known as Arnold, or The Arnold. And the addition of a comic Austrian accent always brings laughs from a sophisticated audience. Mimic his pronunciation of Kahl-ee-faw-nyah - a surefire vote winner. But remember, Arnold was once in the movies. This makes him far more important than any politician.
CwA "The Arnold?"
7. The mayor. Well, the mayors. California boasts two mayors with a national profile: Gavin Newsom in San Francisco and Antonio Villaraigosa in Los Angeles. Newsom is not the sort of politician a good Catholic like you should spend too much time on. His outspoken support for gay marriage and his bullish leadership of sin city mean that he will never meet the pope. Antonio is a different matter, the Latino Blair if you like (his first name means Tony in Spanish). Antonio has the Old Labour cred of a union past, the New Labour cred of sharp suits, a totally heavy Listerine habit and taught himself Spanish. Practise saying his name before meeting him. Or you can use the term favoured by Republican wags: Antonio Villareconquista.
CwA says No comment necessary
8. Orange County. You've seen this one on the telly, dude. The OC - home to hipsters, surfer dudes, Ryan and Marissa, John Wayne airport, the Minutemen, theme parks and your friends and allies, the US Marines at Camp Pendleton. Semper Fidelis, dude!
CwA. says: Minutemen, are these those bomb racket thingies? No, are they some kind of police force to keep out undesireables?
9. Culture. California is home to some of your life-forming listening, Tony. The Doors, the Byrds, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, and Albert Hammond, singer of the bittersweet seventies hit It Never Rains in California (he wrote it in London). And nobody summed up the cultural finesse of living in Los Angeles better than honorary Londoner Woody Allen, who in Annie Hall described it as "a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light".
CwA says Wot no Dead Kennedys? Can't see Tony singing that one though, can you? Jello Blair.
10. Things not to mention: earthquakes, drought, fires, Charles Manson, George W Bush, Enron, the Lodi terrorist cell, Richard Nixon, the death penalty, how hot it is in England, Warren Beatty, the prison system, immigration reform, Ohio, looted antiquities, smog, the price of petrol, community farming, New York City.
And the Middle East.
CwA says I never do!